So quick to judge!

He sat on the Luas, holding her tight while she screamed and shouted to be let go. She had been messing so much she was definitely going to fall and hurt herself. There were so many people staring, tutting, interrupting their quiet commute home… As I looked at the pained face he was making I realised we really are all so quick to judge. None of us know what this child was like, how she normally behaves. She couldn’t have been more than 6 years old. He dealt with it so well, stayed calm, didn’t lose his temper with her. I looked at him in admiration, I don’t think I would have kept my cool in such a situation. 

As I stepped off the Luas I thought of all the times I found myself in the same, uncomfortable situations. When the tiny human would lose her mind over the smallest thing because she was hungry, or tired, or just because she wanted to. The prying, judging eyes of others always make these situations SO MUCH WORSE. You start to feel panicky, when you know it’s the worst thing you can do. (The tiny ones can sense that you know!) You can feel the judging eyes burning into you, the ones who sit and stare and tut at the way you are managing the situation… We’ve all been there, we are all experts, we could all do it better than the other. One thing we all know, is when your child loses their sh1t for no apparent reason the best reaction is to stay calm, talk softly and distract. But how do we do that with so many judging faces looking at the way you are managing the situation. So many people making you feel like a bad mother, or that you can’t cope. 

The tiny human lost hers in the airport the other day. I left her with my boyfriend for 15 minutes, and when I came back she was bawling crying. I was so proud of him for the way he dealt with it. So proud that he didn’t lose his cool. He even got the famous “you’re not in charge of me” shouted at him, he still stayed calm. He got the high pitched scream of frustration, he stayed calm. I sat in front of her as she pretended to choke to death because there was carrot in her mouth, tears streaming down her face. I waited until she stopped crying, and I eventually gave in and let her spit the poisonous carrot into a tissue. The glares I got were incredible. Not one person in that restaurant knew our situation. I’m sure they were all thinking “what a brat to say that to her Dad”. Well let me tell you this people, I am SO proud of my daughter, of the beautiful little person she has become, of how she processes a Daddy in heaven and the new man in our lives, so if she wants to lose her sh1t for 5 minutes because she’s so tired she literally can’t function, then so be it. (I of course made her apologise to him, for those who are judging me!) 

If we could all just stop judging each other, then life would be that little bit easier. The next time you see a child losing their mind over something you think is so small, the next time you stare at a parent for the way they deal with a situation, instead of judging them, just take a moment to think about the fact that you really have no idea what is going on in their mind, and maybe praise them for doing it “their” way. 

5 thoughts on “So quick to judge!

  1. Coen had a massive shit fit today because he didn’t want to go out, then when we got home he did. Nightmare. When will it bloody end?? Xxx


  2. Great article Sinead. Makes me think of a time while I was having food out by with Lila last year… She was 3yrs and a bit. She sat calmly for about fifteen mins before getting up and jumping all over the couch we were sitting on.. I was still eating and she had a good bit of her dinner left to eat. The man sitting next to me seemed really disgusted that I couldn’t control her too well… My voice for a time would just appear to go over her head. He then proceeded to tell me how he dealt with similar situations with his 16 Yr old son ie grounding him and sticking to his words. All I could do was calmly speak to Lila and try to distract with crayons and colouring in. The mans eyes and facial expressions told me I was doing it wrong. But unfortunately grounding a 3 yr old wasn’t going to work either… We can all be way to quick to judge based on our own actions or how we think we might know better but you are right we should all realise that each and everyone of us are doing it the best we can and best we know how! Whilst advice is always welcome it’s the judging eyes and tutting that come with it that can make a parent feel even more uncomfortable in such situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I actually couldn’t believe it yesterday. We really have become a world of “oh I could do that so much better” or “you’re doing it wrong”. That man clearly hadn’t dealt with a toddler in a VERY long time, and how dare he even comment!! Makes me so sad! We know we rock as Mommys!! xx


Leave a Reply to Loz Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s