Please don’t think I miss him less

Please don’t think I miss him less, with every passing year….

Please don’t think I no longer take the time to shed a tear….
With each passing day and month, 

Life does continue on…

But please don’t think I’m all “Ok”…. 

I’m still trying to be strong…
I have my ups and downs you see, 

my happy times and blue….

Please don’t think as the years go by, 

That I no longer need all of you….
I try to keep things positive, 

I try, but sometimes fail…

For sometimes I can’t help it, 

I often feel so very frail….
My heart was smashed to pieces that day, 

And as the years go by, 

I’m piecing it back together…

Little by little…. That’s no word of a lie…
I have things to look forward to, 

A tiny human to guide on her way,

But please don’t think I need you less…

I need you all to stay. 
To wrap your arms around me…

Tell me it’s alright to feel this way…

But please don’t think I’m over it…

Just stay beside me and I’ll be ok  
Huss x

She will never know

She will never know just how important she is,
How she gave me that important goal,
To keep her safe inside me,
When my world was no longer whole.
She will never know how many tears I shed,
For the life she would now never have,
She will never know just how scared I was,
Facing life without her “Dad”.
She will never know what she kept me from,
The drink, the drugs, the sadness,
She was the one who kept me going,
Kept me away from all that badness.
She will never know how much I watch her sleep,
Watching her little chest rise and fall,
Or how I look at her and wonder,
Will she be quite as tall?
She will never know how grateful I am,
For all her smiles and giggles,
She will never know all the times I worry,
About all those little niggles.
She will never know everything I do is for her,
From work, to rest, to play,
She will never know how much I honestly hope….
That I as a Mommy am doing “ok”.
She will never know how massive just being here is,
Being my little sunshine ray,
She will never know she is my reason.
She is the reason I am here. To this day.